Saturday, March 28, 2015
"Well Why Don't You Marry It?"
Okay, admit it: We have all used this phrase at least once in our lives. Especially if you grew up in the 90's. Someone says they love something and the mocking/joking response was "Well, why don't you marry it?" Usually we were making fun of our siblings or a good friends excessive affection for something because in our 7 year old minds, if you love something or someone you should marry it/them. What is funny (and by funny I mean sad) is that that mentality does not seem to apply very much anymore, or at least not as quickly. People who seem to be "in love" and say that they are do not always jump straight to marriage. They feel this sense of needing to "test the waters" and see if this would really work. Live together for a bit to see if they can stand living with that other person. Sleep with each other to see if they are "truly compatible".
"But because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2
Now, I realize the factors that take place in this. Weddings are expensive, some people want to save up a little bit, and they want to make sure that the other person loves them back, and wants to spend the rest of their life with them. But the reality of the situation is that debt is going to happen. I understand waiting till you are financially sound but you can wait from your separate houses and separate beds every night. More often than not you are going to go into your marriage with debt from both of you, and that is okay. And the best way to find out if that other person loves you back is to ask them. Ask them if they want to marry you; spend the rest of their life sharing it with you and vise versa. I know, it will suck if you find out that they don't love you, or that they don't want to marry you and spend the rest of their life with you. But, it is better to find that out and move on, as long as it may take, than to be giving pieces of you and your heart away, as you do with sex, only to find out that they do not love you and do not want to marry you.
I'm not trying to dumb down the pain of being broken up with or left. I whole heartedly agree that it is a terrible feeling. Finding out that the person you saw yourself marrying did not have the same idea in mind rips you apart. And yes, it will take some time to recover. But you should try to remember that that was simply not who God had planned for you. And as much as the thought may cross your mind and keep nagging at you; You are not alone, and you are not going to die alone. God is always there with you and for you. He will never leave you. God loves you. God loves us. And if you feel the urge to say "Well why doesn't he marry it?" well... He did. We, as the church , are the bride of Christ. And He did more than just marry us, He saved us, He sacrificed His only son to die in our place. If that doesn't show true love, I don't know what would.
The point I'm getting at is that our minds should be connecting loving someone to marrying them. None of these games in the middle where you try to test the waters of marriage by living together and sleeping together to see if you are "sexually compatible". I heard someone speaking on this topic once say "you're a boy, she's a girl... You're compatible. It's simple biology." And he's right. God meant for sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage.
So, guys, you love her? Girls, you love him? Why don't you marry them?
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God." 1Thessalonians 4:3-5
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2