"And oh, oh- Well you know how it feels if you begin hoping for something that you want desperately badly; you almost fight against the hope because it is too good to be true- you've been disappointed so often before. That was how Digory felt. But it was no use trying to throttle this hope. It might- really, really, it just might be true. So many odd things had happened already." - C.S. Lewis, The Magicians Nephew
Have you ever hoped for something but mostly kept it to yourself because you know that if you push it too much or tell someone else then something will probably go wrong and it will all fall apart and you will then have to explain the situation to everyone who knows, making the possible pain worse than it was just being disappointed on your own?
Maybe it was a relationship with someone where both parties had admitted to liking the other and you had been talking for a while and you started to see something actually happening so you started to tell a few people, but then something got in the way or the other person started to become fickle and then BOOM suddenly you are not so sure of everything, and the questions start flowing in; from other people and from yourself.
'Was this even worth it?' 'Did I waste my time?' 'Why did I hope so much for this in the first place?' 'Is there actually anyone out there for me or are all guys (or girls) like this?'
Or maybe it was a job, or an internship, or some kind of summer position that you really wanted and you felt like you were perfect for it. You had hoped for so long and prayed that God would put you in this position because you knew that you were just the right person for the job but then, you get your rejection letter. And of course the questions line up because everyone knew how much you wanted it and they ask out of courtesy but it actually seems more like a dagger to your gut to be reminded of something you thought you were a shoe in for that you didn't get.
As Lewis says, we start to fight against the hope.There will be disappointment in this life; there will be heartache that we cannot fix as easily as we want to and we will want to refuse to hope for anything anymore. It just does not seem to make sense to become so emotionally invested in something that could potentially crash and burn in front of you, (excuse the slight exaggeration to make a point). But there is no use trying to stop yourself from hoping; you're going to do it regardless, even if it results in disappointment after disappointment.
"When things go wrong, you'll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start to go right they often go on getting better and better." - C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew
And it seems to make it ten times worse when we tell someone else about it because we have to explain the disappointment, almost relive it because someone else knows and they are bound to ask eventually. But you know there is someone we can tell; heck, he already knows, and he also knows what is going to happen, whether it be disappointment or satisfaction. Just because something does not work out does not that we should be angry with God, or not hope in Him or anything else ever again. We have every reason in the world to hope because God sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. So, opportunities will come and go, but we should never lose hope because God loves us and has great plans for each and every one of us. If you feel like telling someone, tell God; pray about it, and trust and have hope in Him. Nothing could put more joy in your life then trusting and hoping in God and the plans He has for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you."
Jeremiah 29:11-12
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