I finally started my internship yesterday with a crisis pregnancy center here in St. Louis. I already love it! And today we started the day with a devotion and prayer. I mean, who could ask for more?! It was fantastic! The devotion completely hit home, too. And, of course, instantly my mind started writing. And it wrote the entire 4 hours of work. So bear with me as I try to piece together everything I thought up today and tell you about the devotion and my fabulous day that ensued from it.
So, the devotion was about being at peace with where God has put you, not anxious to go backward of forward in time. "I rest in the fact that you have me in this place for this day." God has put us exactly where we are supposed to be. No matter the circumstances of how we got here or why we are here. "You knew my mistakes before I ever existed and you worked them into your plan." How awesome and almost unfathomable is that thought? God knew every single tiny little aspect of our life before we were even created, before we were even thought about in the minds of our families. God planned everything in our lives before we even had a chance to get to it. And that is at least six billion people that he did this for! It spoke about how all of the terrible things that happened to Joseph; being sold into slavery, exiled to a different country, and eventually sent to prison; were all meant for good and that he was always in the right place at the right time according to God's plan.
"Thank you that I can trust you with my future plans- ready to stay, ready to go." It really got me to thinking about how awesome it s that God is so incredibly powerful and amazing and has already planned out our entire lives, he knows what decisions we are going to make before we even have the decision in front of us. I also thought about how we should be ready, then, to go where God leads us, or stay where he puts us. He has a reason for everything that He does.
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act." Psalm 37:5
Also, how amazing it is that we have a final place with God in heaven, and we will dwell in his house forever! And even before eternity we have a place with Him because He is Omnipresent and we can always find comfort in Him.
"Where I can enter and be at rest even when all around and above is a sea of trouble." Andrew Murray
"You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance." Psalm 32:7
This all really hit home with me because I have been struggling with trusting that this is where I am supposed to be in life. Some days I feel like I should have just stayed home in Texas with my family for the summer. I felt like I did not make the right decision leaving them for the summer and I started to feel like everything was falling apart here in St. Louis. At first it had looked like everything was set in place, piece by piece God built my path here and I knew I was supposed to be here, but within a week things start to fall apart and I did not want to tell anyone because I didn't want to disappoint everyone. Boy, was the devil doing a number on me! They all seemed so proud of what I was doing. I didn't want to tell them that I wanted to cry myself to sleep every night, crying out to God "WHY?" And still, I feel like if I don't love this internship, they are going to be even more disappointed that I left them all this summer. But, I've prayed about it and I feel like this is where I am supposed to be. And after the last 2 days, and that devotion this morning, I am even more certain of the fact that I am here for a purpose, even if I don't see it yet. Sometimes when it looks like there are just a bunch of pieces around, you have to look a little harder to see that they actually fit together and make a pretty awesome picture! God is absolutely amazing, and I am finding that out more and more as I see him at work in our organization and so many others around the world. I definitely made a significant step in finding the joy in life today. I pray that you do as well. How could we not be joyful with an awesome God like we have? God bless!
"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways." Romans 11:33
Amen! It is so hard going against the grain sometimes when everyone wants you to be doing something else but you feel pulled a different way. Believe me, that about sums up my whole time in college (and post college life so far). But it's also so empowering and uplifting when you DO accomplish something you set out to do and you get through it with God's help. I have no doubt you are going to do great things!!
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