Monday, January 13, 2014

Living A Triple Life

It's funny, you know, how life changes, how people change. While I was home for Christmas break, I noticed a few things around my hometown that were a little different than they were last time I was there. To be honest, it was a little disconcerting. I'm not a big fan of change, but I have thrown myself into a whirlwind of it with college and all. As the years here go on, I am spending less time at home and more time away at school. Ergo, when I get home it seems that more and more things have changed; the town, the people, my family, my friends. I'm not going to lie, sometimes if feels like I am living a double life. It's a strange feeling, really. I have my life up at school, I have my life at home, you could even say, to an extent, that I have a life online. The way technology works these days, people talk to each other online all of the time, with little to no physical interaction with one another. It seems that the two worlds never collide. It's very easy to be whoever you want behind a computer screen, where no one can see your facial expression, or hear your tone of voice. The online world can start to seem so unreal, like it is only a dream. That dream may seem perfect while you are in it, but if you step back and look at it from the outside world, you see that it was only a figment of your imagination.

 One of my close friends went through a situation like this. She had met this guy online, on a Facebook singles page. His name was Patrick They began by playing a few games of scrabble with one another and chatting over that. After about a year of this, she gave him her number. The two began to talk every day, from "good morning" to "good night",and everything in between. hey even started to Skype, so they knew that neither one was pretending to be someone completely different than who they said. It seemed okay for the time being. She explained the situation to me and I was a bit iffy at first, but I had met him on Skype as well and he seemed like a decent guy. They Skyped at least 3 times a week, for hours on end. It really seemed like they had a connection, from what I could see and from what she told me. I think she fell in love with him, and I think in time he fell in love with her, too. But in time, my friend realized exactly what I mentioned before, that third world, that online world is almost a creation of your own mind. It seems great, yes, but the probability of the two of them ever meeting seemed unlikely, and the likeliness kept receding as time went on. She started to see it, but he did not. He was convinced that she was the one for her. No, he was not a stalker, or obsessed; though the thought crossed my mind a few times. He was a young man in love, but with what? That's the question. They talked every single day, morning to night, Skyped and talked on the phone for hours on end, but the two had never had any sort of physical interaction. Granted, physical appearance is not everything. That is something she stuck to for the longest time, but as time showed her that this was not how she wanted love, she started to pull back. A few weeks later, she met someone here at school that she took an interest in, and he in her. The possibility of this new relationship tore her in half for a while. After all, she thought she was in love, she had just never met him. But then this other guy came along who just seemed amazing, and he is. To be honest, and she will never tell me this, but I think she may have a place in her heart for Patrick for a while. It will pass, though, and new love will help fill that space.

Maybe she and Patrick are meant to be, maybe she and this other guy are meant to be. Truth is, nobody knows, and that is the beauty and the curse of it. We don't know who we are going to end up with, or which way our life is going to go. We do know that we should trust God completely with this ad all other matters, especially those of the heart. He knows what He is doing. I guess the point of all this was to say that sometimes it feels like I am living a triple life; I've got my hometown friends and family, my school friends, and then those that I only communicate with online. It can seem like a triple life because sometimes the three do not even touch. You can get so engulfed in one that when it is time to come out and travel to the next one, it will leave you in a daze. But, whether you feel like you have 3 different lives, or 30 different lives, you know what they all have in common? God created them all,  individually and specifically for you. Embrace them, do not fear them. God is going to guide you through with each and every one of them. Trust him, and find every joy in life that He has to offer.

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