We can spend all the time in the world trying to become something that God did not make us to be. Sometimes I wish that I was an impeccable artist who could express myself in everything I drew, drawing out my feelings with all of these hidden messages inside. Sometimes I wish I was a better writer, because I know that most of the time this is just my own rambling, and I could convey everything I am really thinking about a specific topic. I wish I was more brave to write about something I am passionate about and not afraid to put it out there for the whole world to see. I wish I did not care so much about how people would react to certain situations or conversations, and therefore avoided them like the plague.
All of these "I wish"s do not do me any good, though, and I know that. But sometimes it is nice to dream that things could be different. And this makes it sound like I have a terrible home life but that is not the case at all. My home life is great and I love my family. But, being the youngest of 5 children, and having moved away from home already, I feel like being away is just what I do. I'll always be the one traveling or living in another state. But maybe that is just what God has in store for me. Maybe that is what God made me to do. I want to make a difference in this world, and maybe (ironically) Texas is too small of a place to do that. And maybe it's not. I don't know God's plan for me, but I trust that He will bless every decision I make and every home that I create, no matter how many.Because my home could be in Texas, it could be in Missouri, or it could even be in Alaska. Wherever the Lord takes me, I pray I will follow willingly because He made me for a specific cause and He is going to take me where I am needed (and hopefully wanted, too).
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11
Friday, May 30, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
I'll Always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby
"... Cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix... Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix, but that is what the rain boots are for because rain will wash away everything, if you let it."
- Sarah Kay
So bring on the rain. I feel like it is already pouring anyway. It is only Monday and this week is already awful. And I am writing this post instead of preparing for my big presentation tomorrow because, you know what, writing is my stress relief, so we will see what comes of it.
The quote from above is from one of my favorite spoken word poets, Sarah Kay. When I was in my senior year of high school, my amazing English teacher showed us this video where Sarah talks about what she would do if she were to have a daughter. I pretty much fell in love with spoken word from that point on, even though I cannot really write it very well and I am probably way too self-conscious to ever speak it out loud. (Although, I am working up something which may come eventually) It is really hard to pick a favorite line from her poems but this one is pretty high up there. The insight that her words bring is incredible, almost empowering.
Now, the way I see this is that heartbreak may not just be ending a romantic relationship. Heartbreak can be losing a friend, old or new; losing something important to you; or, in my case, having to leave your friends. As of today, May 5th, I officially have 12 days left up here in Wisconsin. The sad part is, I can't even say it is because I am graduating and going on to the real world with a job and a future planned out (even though I know many seniors graduating who do not have any of that either). Don't get me wrong, though, I am very excited for the next adventure that God is sending me on, but leaving these people is almost worse than it was when I left my hometown. We aren't all going our separate ways yet. I'm going my own way, and no one is following suit like they should be, right? I'm leaving them all here and it feels wrong. It is hard to leave and think that I will never see some of these people, in person, again. I am scared; afraid of the unknown that I am walking into; afraid of losing these friends like I have lost some when I left home. This is a heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. But when the rain comes through, I want to be able to save the things that are important. But the storm is approaching and I am not strong enough, not prepared enough, to save all that I want. The flood is coming through and I am going to lose a thing or 2, or 20...
Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Why am I so concerned with this? It is an earthly thing and of course I will see these friends again, in paradise. So why does this all seem so important at the moment? Because I'm a moody, fickle girl? Yes, that may have something to do with it. Another part could be that I have completely forgotten to put my trust in God. I've been "too busy", "too stressed". Is that not the perfect time to call out to God? It is easy for us to forget, but God is ALWAYS there, listening, and helping even when we think He has abandoned us or forgotten us; He has not. So for all of you with doubts, afraid to admit that you are scared, or too busy to stop and ask God for help or just pray for peace, know that you are in my prayers, and in the prayers of those who love you. Know that God is there, always, and He is listening, even if you do not think you are talking. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Find the joy in that, and go through this week with a brighter, better view of the future.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
- Sarah Kay
So bring on the rain. I feel like it is already pouring anyway. It is only Monday and this week is already awful. And I am writing this post instead of preparing for my big presentation tomorrow because, you know what, writing is my stress relief, so we will see what comes of it.
The quote from above is from one of my favorite spoken word poets, Sarah Kay. When I was in my senior year of high school, my amazing English teacher showed us this video where Sarah talks about what she would do if she were to have a daughter. I pretty much fell in love with spoken word from that point on, even though I cannot really write it very well and I am probably way too self-conscious to ever speak it out loud. (Although, I am working up something which may come eventually) It is really hard to pick a favorite line from her poems but this one is pretty high up there. The insight that her words bring is incredible, almost empowering.
Now, the way I see this is that heartbreak may not just be ending a romantic relationship. Heartbreak can be losing a friend, old or new; losing something important to you; or, in my case, having to leave your friends. As of today, May 5th, I officially have 12 days left up here in Wisconsin. The sad part is, I can't even say it is because I am graduating and going on to the real world with a job and a future planned out (even though I know many seniors graduating who do not have any of that either). Don't get me wrong, though, I am very excited for the next adventure that God is sending me on, but leaving these people is almost worse than it was when I left my hometown. We aren't all going our separate ways yet. I'm going my own way, and no one is following suit like they should be, right? I'm leaving them all here and it feels wrong. It is hard to leave and think that I will never see some of these people, in person, again. I am scared; afraid of the unknown that I am walking into; afraid of losing these friends like I have lost some when I left home. This is a heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. But when the rain comes through, I want to be able to save the things that are important. But the storm is approaching and I am not strong enough, not prepared enough, to save all that I want. The flood is coming through and I am going to lose a thing or 2, or 20...
Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Why am I so concerned with this? It is an earthly thing and of course I will see these friends again, in paradise. So why does this all seem so important at the moment? Because I'm a moody, fickle girl? Yes, that may have something to do with it. Another part could be that I have completely forgotten to put my trust in God. I've been "too busy", "too stressed". Is that not the perfect time to call out to God? It is easy for us to forget, but God is ALWAYS there, listening, and helping even when we think He has abandoned us or forgotten us; He has not. So for all of you with doubts, afraid to admit that you are scared, or too busy to stop and ask God for help or just pray for peace, know that you are in my prayers, and in the prayers of those who love you. Know that God is there, always, and He is listening, even if you do not think you are talking. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Find the joy in that, and go through this week with a brighter, better view of the future.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
Monday, April 21, 2014
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
Love has been on my mind a lot lately, not because I am IN love or anything but just because I am 20 years old and according to society, you know, I should probably start thinking about getting married. Not to mention everyone and their mom (literally, that's not just an expression) has been trying to set me and this guy up for a couple of weeks now. And I would be fine with the match, if everyone would just mind butting out of the situation. We are both adults and we both need to be ready for a relationship. We can handle it ourselves. And by that I mean, God knows what is going to happen with us, and He will make it happen if it is meant to be. He is in control.
Patience. Patience is the hardest thing right now because of all the change coming up. I am flipping my life completely around, transferring school and having an internship in a different state this summer. Now that I have made all of these decisions I just want to get to the new parts of my life. But I have to remember that God knows what he is doing and there are things for me to still do before I get to the new parts. He has a reason for everything that He does, and I often forget that that is the case. I find myself complaining and looking for a way out more often than I should.
"Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work." - Peter Marshall
Have patience for love, have patience for God's plans to be revealed, have patience for the best to work out because God will make good out of every situation. Trials, tribulations, yes we will have them, but pray and trust that God will work it out as He always does.Through Patience you will find the joy in life.
Also, as just a side note, keep out of other peoples lives, they can handle it or they will come to you.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Patience. Patience is the hardest thing right now because of all the change coming up. I am flipping my life completely around, transferring school and having an internship in a different state this summer. Now that I have made all of these decisions I just want to get to the new parts of my life. But I have to remember that God knows what he is doing and there are things for me to still do before I get to the new parts. He has a reason for everything that He does, and I often forget that that is the case. I find myself complaining and looking for a way out more often than I should.
"Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work." - Peter Marshall
Have patience for love, have patience for God's plans to be revealed, have patience for the best to work out because God will make good out of every situation. Trials, tribulations, yes we will have them, but pray and trust that God will work it out as He always does.Through Patience you will find the joy in life.
Also, as just a side note, keep out of other peoples lives, they can handle it or they will come to you.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Post Scriptum
This is just a little piece of satire I wrote a while ago and I felt like putting it out there. Mostly due to my recent letter writing to old friends. Enjoy, or don't. :)
Dear PS,
We have a love/ hate relationship, you and I. I think we drive each other insane, honestly. I use you, but you are always just floating there in the back of my mind. I know that I can use you if I forget anything. You are always there for me, but you do not always want to be used. After all, I pull you out of your life, away from your friends and family, Just so you can carry my secrets away. Of course, that is the only place I would leave them, in your capable hands. But sometimes, I hate that you are there. You are always a way out; a way to fix, or attempt to fix, whatever I just did. I do not need, or always want, a safety net; something there to pull me out of whatever mess I have gotten myself into. Sometimes, I try not to think of you, so that I can take the consequences of my actions by myself, on my own. So I guess that is all I wanted to say. But hey, PS, even though it sounds like I really dislike you, deep down, I will always love you.
Love,
Kara
Dear PS,
We have a love/ hate relationship, you and I. I think we drive each other insane, honestly. I use you, but you are always just floating there in the back of my mind. I know that I can use you if I forget anything. You are always there for me, but you do not always want to be used. After all, I pull you out of your life, away from your friends and family, Just so you can carry my secrets away. Of course, that is the only place I would leave them, in your capable hands. But sometimes, I hate that you are there. You are always a way out; a way to fix, or attempt to fix, whatever I just did. I do not need, or always want, a safety net; something there to pull me out of whatever mess I have gotten myself into. Sometimes, I try not to think of you, so that I can take the consequences of my actions by myself, on my own. So I guess that is all I wanted to say. But hey, PS, even though it sounds like I really dislike you, deep down, I will always love you.
Love,
Kara
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Please take the Time to Locate the Exit Nearest You
People are strange. If we know that there is a simple way out, we tend to inch our way toward it more and more when the going gets tough. Especially when we know that the easier thing may be just to quit.
My boyfriend and I disagree on something, time to break up.
This job is too difficult, time to give up.
My life is too difficult, time to get out.
Relationships have issues, jobs take some learning, and life... well, life is hard. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But you see, this is how we all tend to think. The thought crosses all of our minds at least once. Wouldn't it be easier to just "cop out"? Walk away? Give up?
Contrary to the Google translation of Frozen's "Let it Go", Letting something go and giving up are not the same thing.
As I am sitting here writing this on the eve of the Resurrection of our Lord, I cannot help but think of how Jesus wanted a way out. He prayed to God for any other way to save us.
"And going a little further he fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.'" Matthew 26:39
But we know that if there was any other way, God would have chosen it. Therefore, Jesus could not and would not just give up because he did not want to do it anymore. God loves us so much that He sent his son to suffer the most brutal punishment, being beaten almost to death and then hung on a cross to die, all to save us from our sin. And then, he rose from the dead in three days! No one gave up on us, no one decided to just leave us in our sin without any hope of forgiveness.
So how can we even think about running away from a situation without even trying. Just because you know where the exits are does not mean you need to use them. Let go of things in the past or present making you second guess your decisions, but do not simply give up because things get too hard or you are afraid of what may come of it. Life is going to throw you some hard balls sometimes, but you can't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. (Thank you Babe Ruth) We should know that God is with us every step of the way. He has plans for us and He is not going to let anything harm us.
So, yes, when on an airplane make sure you take the time to locate the exit nearest you. But in regular every day life try not to take it so literally and follow what God has in store for you.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Ephesians 4: 12-13
My boyfriend and I disagree on something, time to break up.
This job is too difficult, time to give up.
My life is too difficult, time to get out.
Relationships have issues, jobs take some learning, and life... well, life is hard. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But you see, this is how we all tend to think. The thought crosses all of our minds at least once. Wouldn't it be easier to just "cop out"? Walk away? Give up?
Contrary to the Google translation of Frozen's "Let it Go", Letting something go and giving up are not the same thing.
As I am sitting here writing this on the eve of the Resurrection of our Lord, I cannot help but think of how Jesus wanted a way out. He prayed to God for any other way to save us.
"And going a little further he fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.'" Matthew 26:39
But we know that if there was any other way, God would have chosen it. Therefore, Jesus could not and would not just give up because he did not want to do it anymore. God loves us so much that He sent his son to suffer the most brutal punishment, being beaten almost to death and then hung on a cross to die, all to save us from our sin. And then, he rose from the dead in three days! No one gave up on us, no one decided to just leave us in our sin without any hope of forgiveness.
So how can we even think about running away from a situation without even trying. Just because you know where the exits are does not mean you need to use them. Let go of things in the past or present making you second guess your decisions, but do not simply give up because things get too hard or you are afraid of what may come of it. Life is going to throw you some hard balls sometimes, but you can't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. (Thank you Babe Ruth) We should know that God is with us every step of the way. He has plans for us and He is not going to let anything harm us.
So, yes, when on an airplane make sure you take the time to locate the exit nearest you. But in regular every day life try not to take it so literally and follow what God has in store for you.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Ephesians 4: 12-13
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