I feel like we always talk about how we have faith and we believe that God will provide and things like that, but how often do we actually believe our own words? And how often are we just trying to convince someone else, or ourselves?
Back at the end of February I discovered a women's renewal retreat at a camp in south Texas. It was the same weekend as a bachelorette party I was supposed to go to, but circumstances changed and God definitely opened the door wide open for this retreat. He basically pushed me through it because I was a little resistant to go and leave the boys for 2 nights (which I've never done). It was hard to beginning with but I had a 5 hour drive to regain my composure and set my mind for this retreat. Lord knew I needed it, much more than I thought.
The theme of the retreat was REFUGE. We covered Psalm 46.
"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling... The Lord of Hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46:1-3;7
Here are some things I took away from this retreat (and yes, I knew a lot of this already but it clearly needed to be reiterated) :
- We are refugees, in need of a safe place with God our heavenly Father. Even when we think we don't.
- In the bad times AND the good times. We should seek Him for comfort, and remember to thank Him for the answered prayers.
- He is always there, even in the good times. Especially in the good times. We need to remember to thank Him for the good He has brought us instead of just looking at prayer as this checklist of complaints.
- Be Still. Remember that he is Almighty, that He can handle everything. There is nothing he cannot do. Stop and Listen.
So, yes, I obviously knew a lot of these things- in the back of my mind. But we tend to forget, I think. It sometimes feels as though our faith is put on the backburner and just comes out to save face- to say "God has got this" so that others might see that you have faith. So you can tell yourself you're witnessing to that person right now. So that you don't get a "lecture" from someone about needing to trust God. When someone tells me "The Lord will provide" my instant response is always "Yeah, I know"... But do I? Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that He will, but in the forefront, my anxiety takes a strong hold of my mind- Satan holds on tight and tells me "worry about this" "How will you handle that?" "You can't do this". It was well needed (and the Lord knew that) to be reminded to be still. To remember to go to Him at all times, not just when things are hard.
This retreat also afforded me sisterhood friendships. Friendships I didn't even know I was missing. Friendships that point me to Christ and to remember to pray and talk to Him often.
I had put so much stock in my identity as a mother the last few years that I forgot that my identity first and foremost is as a daughter of our Lord. A daughter of the King.
I am so thankful God put this retreat in my path and afforded me the resources to go. He gave me peace of mind and He made the way clear so I could get there. God truly does work all things together for good. And I know I will be returning for this retreat next year, God willing, even with little man in tow. If you're looking for the joy in life, start looking to the creator of everything (including that joy ;) ).
Kara Joye